Wednesday, July 15, 2009

I don't want to grow old!

We just returned from a wonderful 2 1/2 week Disney vacation - we had an amazing time.
While we were away my grandmother was rushed to the hospital where she stayed for awhile and is now in a nursing facility in the local senior citizen facility that she and my grandfather had an apartment in. The kids and I went to visit her today and I just don't think I was prepared for what I saw. Physically she looked pretty good, not too different from when I had last seen her, but mentally she is not the same and it was just so darn sad. She is in a wonderful facility - but you just can't sugar coat things like that - I would NEVER want to be where she is and reality tells me that someday I probably will be. She is in a small room with a roommate. She basicaly spends her entire day (other than when they pick her up for therapy) sitting in a recliner in her room starring at the wall or dozing. I offered to turn the t.v. on for her, to get her something to drink, if she wanted us to wheel her outside - to all of which she replied "no, I'm fine". How sad, how very very sad. This once vibrant woman, who I have seen pictures of when she was my age- and the woman was gorgeous - it just breaks my heart. As I watched my kids cling to her and give her hugs and tell her how much they loved her, it was wonderful to see the joy on her face. She said "sometime soon you won't have to visit this dreadful place". Luke later said : "I think she meant she will be in Heaven". I think that's what she meant too, I think she is ready to go . . .and you know what. . .I don't blame her.
When we were leaving I asked her if there is anything that we could do for her and she said "no, just get out there and enjoy life." WOW, I certainly will. I will cherish every moment of this life that is mine and be greatful for each blessed day.

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